Five months into our wedding, Marcel and I were still living apart. I was in Dallas, TX. Marcel was in San Jose, CA. It was December 2007 when I finally joined Marcel here in California. We started the new life together after being in a long distance relationship for 4 1/2 years.
Later that month, our beloved married-couple mentors (Ko Chris & Ci Kiki) let us borrow their 5-disc DVD's on Love and Respect by Emerson E. Eggerichs. The whole message was based on Ephesians 5:33.
Later that month, our beloved married-couple mentors (Ko Chris & Ci Kiki) let us borrow their 5-disc DVD's on Love and Respect by Emerson E. Eggerichs. The whole message was based on Ephesians 5:33.
"... each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
The core message is that while a husband longs for respect from his wife, a wife longs for love from her husband.
Having watched the series, Marcel and I decided to practice this Biblical command into our marriage. At the time, we were still trying to set our feet on the marriage's ground. So we knew that practicing this command will do us better than worse in building our marriage foundation.
At the end, it sure was an eye opening experience. I think I struggled more to respect Marcel than Marcel to love me. I must admit I have a great issue with submission. I grew up in a family where women (my mom, my aunts, my cousins, my sisters and my grandma) are more dominant than the men. It's "my way or no way" kind of principle I grew up with.
During the Love & Respect challenge, I learned to discern my role as Marcel's wife. While he is the head of the family, I have been learning to be the neck of the family to support him and facilitate his movement so that he can be a better and wiser head/leader. It's really not easy for me to start without a good role model around me. But I'm glad my God is greater than my problem.
So let me share with you some lessons learned from our Love & Respect application:
Having watched the series, Marcel and I decided to practice this Biblical command into our marriage. At the time, we were still trying to set our feet on the marriage's ground. So we knew that practicing this command will do us better than worse in building our marriage foundation.
At the end, it sure was an eye opening experience. I think I struggled more to respect Marcel than Marcel to love me. I must admit I have a great issue with submission. I grew up in a family where women (my mom, my aunts, my cousins, my sisters and my grandma) are more dominant than the men. It's "my way or no way" kind of principle I grew up with.
During the Love & Respect challenge, I learned to discern my role as Marcel's wife. While he is the head of the family, I have been learning to be the neck of the family to support him and facilitate his movement so that he can be a better and wiser head/leader. It's really not easy for me to start without a good role model around me. But I'm glad my God is greater than my problem.
So let me share with you some lessons learned from our Love & Respect application:
- He knew I'd love for him to try to cook so that we can take turn. I knew he doesn't like the messy part of the cooking and mixing. We compromise by letting him do the cutting and I do the cooking. I feel loved because he's there to help me prepare the meal. He feels respected because I don't force him to do what he does not enjoy doing. Plus, he is very organized. So, all ingredients are placed neatly in the prep bowls/plates (unlike my prep which may end up with more bowls/plates to wash at the end).
- Marcel's pretty tall. Thus, helping me wash the dishes will cause him back pain (from bending over). We compromise by letting him wipe the dining table and store away the clean dishes while I wash the dirty dishes. I got all my kitchen gadgets cleaned the way I want to. He got all his items placed where he wants to.
- Marcel loves biking. I used to have trauma from falling off the bike when I was little. He knew riding a bike for hours would really hurt my "behind." So he got me a pair of biking pants that come with the gel padding for my birthday. As a result, we get to spend healthy and quality time exercising together on the weekend after my birthday. And we still do every weekend when the weather permits. Now, Marcel doesn't have to come home with a cranky wife. I, on the other hand, have started to develop my hate for biking to love for biking. No more sore "behind." Biking is our favorite family sport now.
To date, I'm not a meek wife yet. I'm still full of flaws. I'm sure Marcel will agree with me on this one. But stay tuned, my friends, because my God is still in the process of making the meek me. My way will never always be the right way. Compromising is another way to quietly obey your husband. :-)
May this be a blessing to you!
Click here to see what we did for our second year of marriage.
Click here to see what we are doing for our third year of marriage.
May this be a blessing to you!
Click here to see what we did for our second year of marriage.
Click here to see what we are doing for our third year of marriage.
1 comment:
This is lovely. Thank you for sharing! Aku juga ngak suka masak lho tadinya soalnya abis cooking tangan jadi bau bawang, garlic, daging, dll. Then I found out Costco sells disposable multipurpose gloves which is perfect for cooking & for me. :) Maybe it will help Marcel too?
Post a Comment