TRIUMPH OVER DOUBT

I believe that the Satan means no good to us at all.  It intends to separate instead of to unite us by imprinting doubts.

I would proclaim that I am blessed to be given the opportunity to serve in English Service alongside several best friends this year.  Our English Service just turned 2 years old this month by the way.  Yayyyy, Happy Birthday, Church!  As our English Service grows, more challenges will come our way.  We have been aware of that and do anticipate that. 

Two days ago, God allowed Satan to put major doubt in me.  With 2010 servants transitioning to the new areas of ministry and cleaning up their "new desk," a lot of adjustments need to be done and processes to streamline.  Oh boy, let me tell you how I just want to grip on God's hands even harder than before.  At a blink of an eye, to-do lists have been piling up on our "desks" and making it even harder to see each other's faces over the stack and across "the desk."  Overwhelmed as the world would call it.  Yes, that's the stage that a fellow servant and myself were experiencing two days ago.

Finally, the piles just collapsed; and my fellow servant asked, "Are you sure you want me to do this?  Do you not want to find another person with the background instead?  I don't think I'm fitting for this."

Those questions hit me down to the bottom of the valley.  I experienced major doubt; and I also felt doubted by someone I trust to go alongside with me through ups and downs.  I was too scared of losing my fellow servant.  Way too early in the process to experience a burnout.  

At that moment, I became more aware of and focused on my weaknesses than believing in God's grace -- which has been providing me with deliverance all along.  To my defense, my wall started to rise up to the ceiling; and I responded with a 20% milder version of Nike's motto "Can you just please give me your best?" a.k.a. "Just do it!"  Oh boy, what a nightmare I had caused my fellow servant that day.

Though I was successful to make my fellow servant "persevere" the situation, I knew deep down I didn't do it the right way.  I didn't do it in an encouraging or inspirational way as I should have.  God rebuked me big time that night.  My doubt had consumed me; and I was determined to let God bring the triumph over it.  And He did.

Yesterday, my fellow servant and I had a God-given phone call to resolve this "mess."  The whole thing was a great learning experience for both of us.  Our relationship has been made stronger than ever before.  We're more committed to go through the "piles" together; and from this time forward, we choose to let God pick the pile for us.  Though there are many tasks that will require us to step out of our comfort zone and intimidate us due to our lack of background/experience, I am not afraid and pray that God will continue to triumph over my doubt.

Let me end this sharing with the verse my fellow servant wants us to hold on to:

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." -- Proverbs 27:17.

May this be a blessing!